Hørt om filterkaffen som fikk hjemlengsel? Den dro hjem til gamle trakter ☕️

«Det var lite reker i rekesalaten her!†
†Tja,† sa dama bak disken, †og det er ikkje mye pikk i picknickskinka heller!†

Ørevoksen, Karius og eggstokken pratet en dag om felles kjente. Ørevoksen fortalte om en hvithåret kar som kom og kikket seg rundt, før han forsvant igjen. Karius fortalte om en lang- og strihåret kar som stakk innom og pusset huset hans. Eggstokken fortalte om en skallet fyr som ikke kunne bestemme seg om han skulle inn eller ut, og rett før han dro så spydde han ned hele kåken.
Den jævelen har jeg også møtt, sa Karius… :-)

Nettstedet Reddit spurte nettopp sine brukere: ‘I stand corrected’ ville vært et supert navn for et kiropraktorfirma.
Hvilke gode ideer har du hatt som det aldri kommer til å bli noe av?
Her er et noen av svarene som kom inn:

En suppeprodusent med slagordet ‘We do what we can and we can what we do.’
En kinarestaurant på havnepromenaden som heter ‘Wok on Water’.
‘Jehovas Fitness’ Treningsstudio. Pontius Pilates.
Et bilverksted i nærheten av meg heter ‘wreck-a-mended’. Jeg tenker at det er et dødsbra navn hver gang jeg kjører forbi.
Jeg har lyst til å åpne en pub som heter ‘The Pint of No Return.’
En gjør-det-selv medisinsk klinikk kalt ‘Suture Self’.
Marco’s Polos. En klesbutikk som heter Marco’s som bare selger pologensere.
En homobar med militærtema som heter: The Dishonorable Discharge.
En spiseplass som heter The Gettysburger Address. Du sitter i en John Wilkes Booth og nyter en Gettysburger og en Emancipation Proclamilkshake.
En restaurant som heter ‘I Don’t know’ når din bedre halvdel ikke kan bestemme seg for hva hun vil ha.
Hva med en Pizzaplass som heter Cheesus Crust.
Sykkelreparatør som heter Broke Bike Mountain.

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

I can»t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User
————————————————————————-
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application «Yes Dear» to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support